Chores...

Chores are a great way to teach your children about responsibility, and about contributing to the whole - at the start it is the family but that translates to the society at large. You do them because it helps the family, not because you get paid. It is part of what it takes to run a household and everyone pitches in (here is where it is important that Dad is participating as well or the message is mixed at best).

Not long ago there was a lot more work that went into maintaining a family - gardens, food prep, dishes, house cleaning, etc. But now chores seem harder to find. Many families seem to spend less and less food prep time and more and more taxi time carting kids to never-ending teams, clubs and lessons. I guess I think it is about balance. Lessons in music or being on sports teams are good things, but when connected with a couple recent blog posts on play, it is important to have a balance between all the activities a family/child does. And the families that I watch seem to be very short on meaningful chores: work around the house that really needs doing to keep the family functioning, and is age appropriate all the way up as a child grows. (Don't include homework in the "chores" category - that is a separate, and important task for children).

You can check out two blogs that post on children and chores as both reference the same research on how many kids are involved in chores these days. The numbers are dropping rapidly.

Here is a site that is focused on chores and the sample page includes pdf samples for various ages. It does include homework and personal hygiene (which is a base level skill) but it does provide a place to start.

Chores are important.
"Doing household chores as a child turns out to be a major predictor of whether an individual does volunteer or community work as an adult, according to sociologists, who note that housework is an important teaching tool. And when it comes to domestic bliss, the distribution of domestic duties—grounded in childhood chores—can make or break a marriage."

(Check out the cartoons from Gary Olson like the one you see above)

Two Movies About Our Food...

I'd encourage folks to watch two movies about our food and food supply system:
Food Inc and
The Future of Food.
Both are available on Netflix instant play.

My other blog on the brain had a post on diet and the brain - there is a strong connection between how well we eat and how well we use the full capacity of our brains. Good nutrition is key to raising a healthy family, ready to give God our best for a life time.

If you only get to one of these movies make it Food Inc. It gets at the subject of the second movie at least a little bit. As you watch, I suspect you'll be disgusted, angered and hopefully also motivated as well to change some things. The end of the Food Inc movie makes some very simple suggestions (I know 'simple' doesn't necessarily translate into 'easy'). Consumers do make a difference with our choices. The challenge is being an informed consumer.

Got gave us good things to eat. Interesting that, as the science gets more amazing, we are getting less healthy. Good to remember that we live in a Fallen world. I heard a friend make the connection to the Tower of Babel and, at first I didn't get it. It is a story of people who think they are so capable that they can build a tower up to God to 'make a name for themselves'. Perhaps a good comparison... we think that we (science/industry/government) can do better than the 'simple systems' that God put in place. Or perhaps it is just simple greed, and the bottom line is profit instead of doing our best - for us and others.

Don't expect it to cost less to eat better. But eating better is important if we want to give God our best.

Eat locally! Cook meals together - and benefit from the family meal/conversation time as well.

Watching our children grow

There is great joy in watching your children grow up. To be sure, there are always bumps in the road but God blessed us with the chance to watch children grow and mature over time that is wonderful to behold. Some parents go overboard on involvement - sometimes called 'helicopter parents'. They don't leave enough breathing room for their children to learn to do their own thing. (An interesting article in the 11-30-09 Time Magazine on the backlash to 'over-parenting.)

And that joy of being a parent continues well into adulthood. Parents never stop being parents.

The new media makes that 'watching' different than it used to be. Time was, you didn't know some things that your children were doing - even as the hovering, helicopter parent. As they got older and spread their wings, they lived more and more of life outside of our immediate sphere of influence.

Now you have a choice. Young people these days, for better or worse, post so much of their life on line... for everyone to see... including you, if you choose. Choosing to watch can add to the joy of parenting as you see into their lives in a more immediate way than was possible in the past. It can also let you see things you wish you didn't see. And then you have to decide how to respond... chime in with a response to their posts or stay silent.

A hard call. Sometimes it is good to chime in, like you would if they had told you (they kind of did when they posted it!) and you were giving advice, sharing your perspective and counsel. (The thing to remember about advice is that it is best received when it is wanted, and inside a mutually respected relationship.) Sometimes it is good to bite your tongue and stay a silent observer - and use the info as a way to pray very specifically! Chime in as a parent when you aren't wanted and the posts may stop. I think I'd rather know than not. If you can't take the good with the bad you are better off not watching at all, and then you'll miss it all. Ah, the joys of parenting! Kind of like our heavenly Father, watching us.

"Fair" does not mean "equal"

"That's not fair!". We said that growing up. We heard it from our own kids.

My Dad got it. He knew that fair did not mean equal. I think it was easier to understand when the families were larger... he came from a family with 12 kids. I have 6 siblings. The more kids there are, the more clear it is that everyone is different and the "same" is not right for everyone. Fairness is more about what is appropriate than about what is equal.

That is harder to handle when there are fewer kids. It just seems that everyone should get the same and that would settle it (especially from the kids perspective). The same punishment for breaking rules, the same opportunities, the same attention, the same ... everything.

My Dad would often remind us when we were kids - and even reminded us as adult children dealing with our own siblings, and with our own kids - that fair did not mean equal. Fair meant doing the things that were best for each one.

Living...

Check out this blog for some of the best words about living from someone who is dieing. Connie Ore was a team mate at St John Lutheran in Seward, NE. She and her husband do music very well. Her blog is always inspirational and I recommend a regular stop there.