Marriage - seems to be pretty important...

I came across the July 13 edition of Time Magazine at my Chiropractors office and the cover title was : "Unfaithfully Yours". An interesting source for what turned out to be a pretty conservative view on marriage.

The lead article "Is there hope for the American Marriage" was written by Caitlin Flanagan (an interesting women herself) and it has much to say about reasons to preserve marriage - translate that: commit and build rather than try it, cut and run. The article references some high profile infidelities and then gets on to some of the critical reasons to preserve marriage: the care and nurture of each other and our children.

From the article: "And so two more American families discover a truth as old as marriage: a lasting covenant between a man and a woman can be a vehicle for the nurture and protection of each other, the one reliable shelter in an uncaring world — or it can be a matchless tool for the infliction of suffering on the people you supposedly love above all others, most of all on your children."

Flanagan touches on the dramatic differences in the outcomes of kids from single parents vs two parent homes, births to unmarried women (now at 40% of the total births), the critical role of the father, the purpose of marriage and our cultural ambivalence to the institution of marriage to which she responds: "This is ultimately self-defeating. It is time instead to come to terms with both our unrealistic expectations for a happy marriage and our equally unrealistic beliefs about the consequences of walking away from the families we build."

The Bible says: leave and cleave; the two shall become one...

It is interesting to note that, while reading an online article praising the institution of traditional marriage you are bombarded with links to such things as a gay marriage video, the top 10 mistresses, the top 10 scandals of 2008 and more. Good reason to be sure that we as parents and our education system are teaching our children to be discerning and thoughtful and well grounded as they navigate this electronic world.

Family Togetherness - in the bullseye!

Another great blog is from Youth and Family Institute. Paul Hill recently blogged about families being in the bulls eye of marketers. If you don't see a bright red and white bulls eye on you somewhere, look again.

Paul highlighted a "Youth Marketing Mega Event..." it is not new but it reinforces the energy and resources that are going into selling... to you and your kids. The power, volume and quality of messages you and especially your kids receive seems overwhelming.

The good news is that families have the power to resist. Parents are pretty powerful themselves - or can be. Y&F Institute helps remind us of that - and gives helpful, practical things to do; like the Four Keys: caring conversations, devotions, service, and rituals and traditions. These nurture and anchor our lives in Christian spiritual practices and that is the best way to resist the forces of the marketers.

Family of my own

Having a chance, right after visiting my family of origin, to have some good time with most of my own current family. Had lunch with all three sons: Isaac, Sam and Gideon, and Isaac's fiance Claire. And now spending time with Jenica and Wes and their two kids and also Gideon for four days while at Lifest. With all our own kids grown and gone this does not happen much any more either (is there a pattern developing here?).

Such a blessing to have time with our own kids and with their kids as well. Get to see the results of the years of parenting (which never really end). And get to try on new skills of grandparenting. Distance and budget will play a part, but hoping to keep well connected to our children and grandchildren and beyond as the Lord blesses us.

Family of Origin

I just had a chance to spend about 6 days back in Canada with my family of origin. A great time with my Mother mostly and then a 50th birthday celebration for one of my brothers and so some time with all my siblings. It had been two and a half years since the last visit. Too long. It is great to go back to your roots when you can. In this mobile world we often get far away from family - although I have served recently in a place (Aurora, IL) where there is much stability community wide... more than I have usually seen. When you have moved far away I find it good to go back and reconnect. Re-establish the relationships (in our case we don't even do the letter/email/phone thing much in between) and remember the beginnings, good or not so good.

While there I spent some time with my Mom at my Dad's grave site in small town Alberta. Lots of family connections. It was good as we walked around to hear all the connections there were. Distance and budget don't allow as many visits as we would like but we take advantage of them when we can and would encourage the same for others. It is your beginning and has much to do with who you have become.