Strong Marriages

There are lots of great places to go for help building a strong marriage. We have always liked Marriage Encounter. A less likely place to go but one that we think is a great resource is Walter Wangerin Jr. The specific resource from him is "As For Me and My House". He is one of the most gifted writers I know and does a great job in this book talking about practical ways of crafting a strong marriage.

Perhaps the simplest advice on building a strong marriage comes from my father. He would take my mother out regularly (translate that weekly) for "coffee". That was a code word. They did actually drink coffee on these little dates but more importantly it was time to talk about each other and about their many children. They had a strong marriage till the very end when he died at 84. Thanks Dad for being a great model.

Hands on Parenting

My parents were great examples of hands-on parenting. They didn't sit back and wait to see if things would work out, hoping they wouldn't have to have the hard conversations. The faced them head on. One time in high school (I was at a boarding school about 300 miles away from home) I got into trouble, big trouble, for drinking underage. I even ended up in a car accident and in the police station drunk tank. This was an isolated incident. I was not in trouble very much and was considered a leader in the school. My parents could have hoped for the best and let the school principle deal with it (which he did!). But no. My parents had to drive the 300 miles the next day and sit face to face with me and have a "talk" about what had happened. I don't remember much about the talk - but I do remember that they drove 300 miles to have the talk and that impressed me. I knew they were concerned about what I did and the decisions I made.

Sometimes the wind blows at us parents while we raise our kids...OK the wind blows all the time and sometimes it blows hard! Hands-on parenting is like leaning into the wind, adusting for the force of the storm but always moving forward and facing the challenges AND your kids head on. Let them know you love them!

A great resource for that kind of parenting is Dr Kevin Leman. Check out some of his DVD courses.

Family Friendly Church

Ben Freudenburg has been getting it right for many years. An early pioneer in what is now a strong movement to raise parents up as critical in faith formation. This book is still very helpful. Ben and Jennifer are doing great things for family ministry - based out of Ann Arbor, MI. Thanks Ben and Jennifer!